About

OK, let’s get this out of the way right here. Old Monty is short – 5’5” or so. On a good day.

When I was a wee lad, I relished being the little guy. Growing up on the wind-swept plains of my northern homeland, I’d scamper up a tree quicker than a chimpanzee after a banana, squeeze into my Daddy’s sock drawer for hide and seek where no one could find me, ride the wild ostriches bareback. When my big brother got stuck in the chimney playing Santa, it was Monty who shimmied up the downspout to help him down. I was “Mommy’s little monkey” and loved every minute of it.

Things were different as I passed into adulthood. Oh, I was still having fun. But I noticed that, for the most part, life comes easier for tall guys. My bosses, when I had them, were always taller than me. No more competent. Just taller. Much taller. I saw it in sports, business, with women. Whether it was during my time in the foreign legion battling Algerian pirates, the years I spent as investment advisor to Argentinian prostitutes or my early days as pickle wrangler at Itzy’s deli wagon in Mecca, I saw the edge tall men had. And I didn’t like it.

Economist John Kenneth Galbraith, who stood well over six feet tall, had it right. As he confided to me once while we shared a plate of seared lizard brains and some illicit Cubans at Fat Frankies greasepit in Key Largo:

“The bias towards tallness and against shortness is one of society’s most blatant and forgiven prejudices.”

That was one skinny glandular case who knew what he was talking about. (Although he couldn’t pick out a good port to save his life.)

I learned something else throughout my adventures. It’s better not to dwell on things you can’t change. Let go of the anger. Just hang in the saddle and keep moving that horse toward the next valley.

I’m here to help. Whether it be digging up clothing tips or interesting quotes or just laughing a bit together at our own foibles as short men. We are who we are. Yes, we have to work harder for what we get. But it is time to lose that chip on our shoulders. Time to live with confidence despite waking up everyday to a world that naturally rewards the tall. Buck up, men.

And keep this in mind. Statistically, tall guys die at a younger age. Which means we will have the last laugh.

Humbly at your service

Montgomery T. MacAdoo